The last few times I left the house for work, Mason ran up to give me a "big hug" and a kiss. After running away from me, back to his daddy, or his toys, or his Grandma, he shoutsed "buh byyyye! buh byyyye!" and didn't give me a second glance.
Four weeks ago, getting out of the house was like a test in tactical capabilities - that always ending in hysterics from him, and extreme sadness for me. Tearing myself out of his grip as he screamed "mama, mama!" and hot, wet tears rolled down his little rosy cheeks.
A tiny wee part of my feels sad that suddenly he has changed so much. But the rest of me sees the larger picture - he finally knows that his days will be fun and that I am coming back. That I'll be there in the middle of the night when he calls for me (because let's be real, at 3am he's usually asking for his mama still) and that everyone else can take care of his needs, and not just mama.
The rest of me is breathing a slow exhale I'm not even sure I knew I was hanging on to - with another little due to join our ranks any time in the coming weeks (!!!) I'm feeling thankful that he can now ask for what he wants, confidently keep himself busy for a few minutes and be okay with not having all mummy, all the time.
I've officially entered my 36th week, and with each day that passes I feel a little more confident and a little less scared of the changes coming our way. I'm ready for you, little one.