Motherhood will hone instincts you never even knew you had. You will predict the burps and bowel movements of another human being. Only your touch and voice will soothe the wails of your tiny one (much to the frustration of your family and husband!) You will soon suss out the difference between the hungry cries, the frustrated cries, the sad cries, the diaper cries and all the other in between cries. You may even be lucky enough to have a baby that cries and cries and cries some more, refusing to be soothed. And if you are one of those so blessed, your mama instincts will have you pacing, rocking, shushing, wrapping, changing, turning on the vaccuum, singing out of tune and pacing some more - in a seemingly endless mission to just silence the hurt that you just cannot seem to fix.
Motherhood will make you superstitious. It creates rituals you couldn't have previously fathomed, in the hopes you'll get just enough time for a shower, or 5 more minutes asleep. You will want to shout from the rooftops the first time a break through happens (slept through the night, two great days in a row) so you will. And after the first regression, then the second, you will have learned to zip those lips in silent prayer that the good keeps coming and that the past stays behind you.
Motherhood will teach you about faith when previously (perhaps) there was none. In the wee hours of the morning when your breasts are aching and leaky, your ponytail is falling out, your eyes are bleary from broken sleep and you are sitting still dressed in the rumpled pyjamas from two sleeps ago...you will send a silent, begging prayer for sleep and silence. When you cannot see for the tears that just won't stop falling, you will plead for the ability to keep going, for the knowledge to make the right choices, and the strength to try again. But when those cherub lips break into their first genuine smile, your prayer will be in reverant thanks that YOU were chosen to parent such an awe-inspiring, perfect little being...and the rest will always, always melt away.
Motherhood will open you up to the hugest swells of emotion, bigger than your old self, even your pregnant one, could imagine. It will rip your soul into two pieces and those pieces will forever exist in two different bodies from this point forward. For a piece of you will live forever in your child. You thought you loved your partner? Wait for this love to grow, and you will understand this difference that cannot possibly be measured through words.
It will shatter your heart into a thousand pieces and you WILL shed more tears than you thought humanly possible. Sometimes it will feel like all you have are tears. You will cry for every reason and no reason at all, but mostly because all you can do is your best...and despite how it feels, your best IS enough. I promise.
If you are attached, you will learn that motherhood creates, in the span of an instant, the simultaneous feeling of wanting to throttle your partner and then kiss him for a thousand years for creating with you the most precious gift you never imagined.
Motherhood will change your body, hair, sleep patterns and emotions. It will try your patience, test your resolve and make you question every decision you make. Somedays it will prevent you from showering, dressing, eating, and sometimes even from brushing your teeth until 10pm. It will make you sweat like never before. Childbirth, labour, breast-feeding, exhaustion - all will strip you of your sense of modesty before you realize it is even gone. If you breast feed, it will hurt, you WILL cry, it will be hard, you will be engorged, you will leak and it WILL affect your sex drive. If it is successful for you, know that you have an incredible gift you are sharing with that tiny human, and there are many mothers out there envious of your connection. Cherish it. Nurture it...
Motherhood will irrevocably and unequivocally change you - from the very surface of your skin, down to the deepest, most basic layer of your soul. You will never, ever be the same.
And once you ARE a mother...you will understand why you couldn't have it any other way <3